Occasionally I would call you and say, “Guess what your crazy son did this time?”
You would laugh and apologise while explaining that you, “can’t control him.”
I would reply, “That’s okay. No one can control me either. That is why we get along.”
Here is exactly why this is significant. What your crazy son did this time is start a rumor that he abused me. Abuse without control is directly analogous to chocolate mouse without the chocolate. That is to say that it simply isn’t abuse.
This happened in late August in the second to last year that I was in town at a pub across from your office.
While his course of action was vigilante he was actually acting in good faith. As you know, he put a great deal of pride and love into teaching me management. He spent years mentoring me. The sales manager who turned out to be a severely abusive individual hadn’t become abusive at that point in time but he was trying to manipulate me out of reinforcing my skill set at management.
Your son did simply advise me to end the relationship. I really should have taken his advice on that one. When I refused to listen to reason he became extremely distraught.
Ultimately he said, “Since who you are going to hurt is yourself, I’ll stop you.”
He added, “Don’t test me Cobra, I already know how.”
Incidentally, I do know exactly how he did it. But, I’m not even going there.
He also pointed out that I wouldn’t like doing residential sales because sales agents are, “weird and paranoid.”
Here is the bottom line. He knew that I had spoken highly of him during my interview process with the sales manager. He also knew that the sales manager had factored the excellent working relationship that your son and had in quite heavily during our interview process. The sales manager considered it an indicator of how well I worked with employers.
If your son could discredit me in that regard then the sales manager would distrust me. He knew that this course of action would be effective because I won’t work with a manager who I can’t resolve conflict with or a team who doesn’t trust me. On my first day at the firm where I was abused the sales manager instructed team members not to trust me. So, he took the bait hook, line and sinker.
Obviously, neither your son nor I knew that we were dealing with an abusive individual. Otherwise, we both would have made different decisions. But, as usual, his course of action was effective. Effectiveness is always his first consideration in any decision and I guess I’m the same way, partially by nature and partially due to his mentoring.
At any rate, I’m sorry that it took me so long to get this mess straightened out. I knew all along that I would but I had to get the nightmares and flashbacks to go away first. I had PTSD. It’s the same condition that combat soldiers and rape survivors frequently suffer from. But, it’s treatable and I’m healthy again now. In fact, I can’t wait to practice management again!
Ironically, it’s supposed to be impossible for the target of mobbing that hits the fourth or fifth stage as defined by Leyman to correct the damage to their reputation. But, I have a feeling that what I’m doing will be highly effective.
Obviously I can’t know for sure until it’s done.
I wish that I could be there to see the fireworks though!
Apologies for the drama.
I hope that you are well!