To: My Former Employer ~ Don’t worry, this is only nearly impossible! :-D

Quick preface: “Workplace Issues” is a work of creative nonfiction based on my true story of being bullied and harassed. It’s told in a series of open letters.

You once made the observation that if you could somehow get any, “impossible client” in front of me then they would be my, “loyal client for life.”

The same thing kind of pertained to seemingly impossible situations. If it seemed impossible then it would land on my desk or be delegated to me. And that was fine. I always enjoyed the challenge. It was one of my favorite parts of the job actually.

So, what happened hit the point of fifth stage mobbing as defined by Heinz Leymann. There currently isn’t, or wasn’t, an effective solution for getting damage to the victims reputation and the abusive behavior within a professional community under control.

This has a lot to do with the fact that if mobbing hits that point then the target is probably suffering from PTSD. Since there is no effective way to remove ones self from the situation it typical causes a traumatic stress breakdown. A traumatic stress breakdown is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation and not an indication of serious mental illness. But, it looks a lot like serious mental illness and is nearly as debilitating if untreated.

In a nut shell, it’s fairly easy to get away with branding someone as insane while they are effectively insane. And, this phenomenon is quite well researched. Extremely abusive individuals, or bullies, want to cause their target a breakdown. They actually derive satisfaction from hurting others. It’s a power trip for them, like with sex offenders.

I’ll be extremely specific about what he was doing. His body language, tone of voice and language were so threatening and intimidating that if a man were interacting with another man that way one would reasonably think that matters were about to hit the point of physical violence. He was also making repeated references to my personal and specifically sexual history. I don’t know what he is or isn’t capable of but he intended to terrify me. It wasn’t an accident, it was completely intentional.

Anyway, there currently isn’t an effective solution for getting fifth stage mobbing under control. But, I’m of the opinion that it’s only nearly impossible.

Wish me luck! 😀

To: My Former Employer ~ I never thanked you for this!

Quick preface: “Workplace Issues” is a work of creative nonfiction based on my true story of being bullied and harassed. It’s told in a series of open letters.

When you initially purchased the firm you were completely unaware that the founder had been teaching me management. In fact you specified that I seemed to need an unusual amount of help with my work. You explained that you wouldn’t necessarily keep me on if I continued to need so much help. ROLF!

Anyway, shortly there after the founder explained that he had taught me management. You and I studied English. He studied Business. For whatever reason he taught us traditional theory without having us read the theory. At any rate, at one point you told me that the original founder of the firm, “told” you “that he had taught” me “to manage myself and told” you “why.”

You told me that it was fine for me to stay at the firm and continue training agents. The theorist on that is Drucker, by the way. There is something that I almost explained to you at the time but didn’t. I didn’t know why I managed myself.

I’ll explain exactly how this happened. As you know the original founder of the firm and I had a mentor-protégée relationship. You probably recall the fact that he very much loved to pick on me.

Early on in my training he made a joke. It was, “Manage yourself for long enough, manage my office for free, train yourself to be the best rental agent in” the city “and someday little Cobra I’ll teach you big important things.”

I didn’t get the joke. When I didn’t get the joke he thought that it was hysterical and put a lot of energy into keeping the joke going.

In fact, about a year after you purchased the firm I explained to him that I had been successful at completing my tasks and that we should probably move on to important things. He laughed and said, “Do it longer.”

About a year later I said, “I have realized that you will never teach me anything but that’s okay I still like you anyway.”

In the following year he realized that the Bully-Perpetrator entity had lied to me during the interview process with the specific intent of manipulating me out of reinforcing my skill set at management. He was extremely distraught.

The he said, “Think hard, why do you manage yourself!?!”

I still didn’t get the joke. Actually, it was during my traumatic stress breakdown that the punch line dawned on me. I swear to God this could have only happened to me!

Anyway, I didn’t know that you were always operating with the assumption that I would start my own firm. I knew that I was operating with the assumption that it was a possibility. But I didn’t know that you knew that.

In retrospect I realize that it’s why you never gave me a formal position as manager. And, while I resented it at the time, you were right.

So, I wanted to say thank you.

 


About “Workplace Issues” and Mob Psychology

“Workplace Issues” is based on my true story of being bullied. It’s told in a series of open letters. I address the bully as well as individuals who partook in mobbing, or bullying by a group.

Mob psychology can only be maintained when the individuals in the group feel no sense of personal accountability. When I execute on this I’ll send all of the letters to the parties whom I’m referencing, as well as a link to the site. That should be effective at creating accountability.

It’s likely that it will take them out of their comfort zone with mobbing because they will be concerned about what others think!

I’ll specify that this combine with the letter addressed to the team sent to the entire professional community should be effective! It’s the combination of the two!

OMFG, you are right!

In the summer that we parted company you said to me, “You are so (exploitive) naïve Cobra!”

You were accurate. One of my biggest weaknesses is corrected now!

But, it isn’t quite that simple. Someone with the qualities that the perpetrator has can frequently manipulate and lie to even experienced executives effectively. This concept is covered in “Snakes In Suits” published by Harper Collins Business Press. There was someone who you employed for several months that followed the same patterns. You finally terminated his employment at my firm recommendation. Later you marveled that you had missed it for so long. I only missed it for a few months also. But, people like that are frequently potentially violent, or at least capable of threatening violence so effectively that it causes a state of duress. Henceforth, my traumatic stress breakdown that it took three years to recover from. That guy is sick and scary!

By the way, he is going to feel like he did nothing wrong. And whatever line of BS he comes up with he will believe. But, the chances of his telling exactly the same story more than once are quite slim.

That is exactly why I didn’t see it or feel it at first!

Edited on December 25th, 2010.

Quick note to readers: “Workplace Issues” is a work of creative nonfiction based on my true story of being bullied. It’s told in a series of open letters.


To the Perpetrator: If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound?

Rubik's Cube in scrambled state

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You isolated my three biggest strengths as creative problem solving skills, communication skills and consultation skills. You were praising my creative problem skills. Systematically giving approval for creative problem solving won’t strengthen those skills at all. The only way to teach creative problem solving is by setting an example of seeing problems as opportunities. Anything else is ineffective.

You represented a reputable firm when I met you. That firm is a nationwide name in real estate. Business consultants were attempting to teach agents to apply a certain innovation. Indecently, the fact that pricing appropriately and doing the basics of marketing and consultation well is considered an innovation is bizarre, but I digress. Anyway, you had no confidence in your ability to apply that material and you did have confidence in my ability to apply it. Obviously, you had absolutely no business trying to teach me anything about communication or consultation. You should have been asking me questions!

Here is an underlying problem with all of your selections. None of these are specific skills. They are all skill sets. You build the skill sets one skill at a time. You are doing a process that most people can’t feel in a way that is completely ineffective.

If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound?

By the way, the answer is no.

To my Mentor: I’ve reduced Bennis to a Tweet!

a table about human ethical charactristics

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Hey, Bennis is Tweetable.

It goes like this, “The ethical decision is always the right decision even when it’s an F’ing pain in the ass!”

It’s unfortunate that the firms founder didn’t think of that while she was ignoring and neglecting the situation. Obviously, I have a great deal more that that to say to you but I have a few matters to attend to first!

Quick note to readers: “Workplace Issues” is a work of creative nonfiction based on my true story of being bullied. It’s told in a series of open letters.

 

To Legal and PR: I’ll answer this one in advance and up yours!

Screw (Kotoko song)

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One stunt that you would probably like to pull is saying that I clearly don’t understand the seriousness of my allegations because I’m using humor in my blog.

I studied English and not business. This is a work of creative non-fiction.

If it isn’t entertaining then no one will read it.

Also, I’m passionate about my cause and this might be effective marketing. Things that are unique and outlandish often get attention on the net.

And by the way, up yours! Your firm should have simply adhered to law!

To The Perpetrator: Your judgment was inaccurate and your behavior was predatory.

A mantis eating a bee. Location: Saitama, Japan

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You informed me repeatedly that I have a, “challenge with setting and respecting boundaries.”

Your observation was inaccurate. I’m neither abusive nor a passive victim.

However, you perceived a weakness. The only person who has literally disrespected every major boundary that I have set with them is you. And, in order to be effective at keeping me in a disrespectful relationship you had to literally cause me a state of duress. This isn’t acceptable professional behavior.

Exploiting a perceived weakness is predatory.

Quick note to readers: “Workplace Issues” is a work of creative nonfiction based on my true story of being bullied. It’s told in a series of open letters.

 

To The Perpetrator: Every voice matters including mine! (language warning)

WASHINGTON (March 26, 2010) A poster supportin...

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Every voice matters including mine, mother fucker!

You and the entire management team counted on my silence. As little as a decade ago a woman’s only option was the mainstream media.

Guess what, modern technology makes it exposing the truth simple!

I may well go to the main stream media also. But, I’m taking this excellent opportunity to illustrate the point.

The primary reason that women remain silent about harassment and assault is fear or retaliation. Frequently we fear the company or educational institution as badly as the perpetrator, and for excellent reason. In “Transparency” Warren Bennis observes that the ease of publishing that the blog sphere provides makes a lot of the ways that companies traditionally retaliated ineffective.

Moreover, I have a little fucking news flash for you. What the public wants is to see the silence around sexual assault, sexual harassment and domestic abuse broken. And, most people don’t like people like you, at all!

It’s worthy of note that this is tagged comedy and creative non-fiction. My best guess is that the average world citizen will find it amusing.

Some might even respect me for it!

Quick note to readers: “Workplace Issues” is a work of creative nonfiction based on my true story of being bullied. It’s told in a series of open letters.