To: The Team Members Who Partook If you want to continue, you may. But it’s a poor reflection on you.

Sexual harassment

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Clearly, you all are the aggressors. I was just trying to live my life in peace. Clearly, you all aligned yourselves with a bully and laughed while another woman was having a traumatic stress breakdown due to sexual harassment. This isn’t behavior to be proud of.

Typically I ignore gossip. But, when it’s so hateful and damaging that it affects ones professional reputation it becomes slander. I had to address that and it was ethical for me to do so.

You may not use your own hateful statements, erroneous assumptions and half truths as an excuse for treating me in an abusive fashion in the future, period. There is no excuse for abusive behavior.

The person next to me is also doing it isn’t an acceptable excuse for abuse, either.

Now, if you want to continue with your immature gossip because you are that deeply insecure, you may.

But, it’s a poor reflection on your selves and not me!

Note: While you all are receiving this as a mass email it is also a post at the site “Stop Mobbing, Bullying and Harassment.” Moreover, hard copies of these posts have been sent to home addresses or PO Boxes of all parties copied. As Warren Bennis points out in “Transparency” it’s nearly impossible to suppress information now. And, bullies and large companies aren’t fairing so well in the media recently. The full copy list is attached.

 

To: The Team Members Involved ~ Exactly what is the difference between you and the girls that bullied Phobe Prince to death, except age?

South Hadley, Massachusetts "green",...

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There is absolutely no excuse for abusive behavior, at all. Even if I was a petty thief and the perpetrators analysis of my character was accurate it just isn’t an excuse for abusive behavior, period. And, it would stand to reason that he had a motive to damage my reputation. You all actually trusted his analysis of my character blindly. Most people would be simply shocked by that. Personally, I’m not because I understand how a mob mentality works. It’s inherently irrational and unethical.

Is it rational to trust the perpetrator of any nature of severe abuse about the character and actions of their target or victim? Just in case you all want to suffer from a convenient case of confusion the answer is no.

The perpetrators attacks on my character were a combination of fabrications and his projections. Severely abusive individuals almost always project their own emotional problems onto their target or victim. It’s intuitive that someone capable of that level of abuse has serious emotional problems and is lacking in integrity.

In cases of mobbing, or bullying by a group, accusations of theft and drug addiction are common. I was accused of attempted theft. The first former journalist who I discussed this with used the phrase, “Obviously trumped up.”

I’ll explain exactly what’s wrong with this. First of all, the bully clearly has a motive. Second of all, the mob mentality had already set in so the witness does also. Third of all my friend was typing on a computer rather than packing it up. A quick search history would have revealed that she had visited Match dot com. She switched from an office computer to a lap top because Match was blocked on the office computers. I can understand someone taking issue with this but calling it criminal is ridiculous.

In order for an accusation of attempted theft to have any credibility at all someone has to be accused of trying to steal something. Exactly what was I accused of trying to steal?

I understand that during my brief and unfortunate affiliation with that firm you all gossiped about the fact that there was, “something weird” about the fact that my meetings with the perpetrator were, “so frequent.”

Since you all considered me to be attractive and considered him to be having a mid life crisis the implication was sexual harassment, period. It was impossible to miss the fact that I was in a state of duress and impossible to miss the cause. I was even breaking into cold sweats whenever the perpetrator came near me. Instead of trying to help you all gossiped, laughed and par took in the abuse, including but not limited to accusing me of having bad hygiene.

The reason that our meetings were so frequent is that the perpetrator was refusing my respectful resignation by intimidating my physically and referencing me personal and specifically sexual history. This was wrongful termination as well as sexual harassment. Needless to say, I don’t want the position back!

Severe workplace abuse be it harassment, bullying or a combination there of almost always causes post traumatic stress disorder. It can cause heart conditions as well. PTSD always creates some risk of suicide. Candidly, I did almost kill myself at one point.

Every last one of you who was affiliated with the firm at that point in time knew about the bullying and harassment. All of you knew that I had suffered a breakdown because of it.

It was intuitive that it was a breakdown due to abuse rather than a psychotic breakdown. You all knew the truth. And exactly what did you do about it?

You all ran around gossiping, laughing about it and calling me names like the mean girls at South Hadley High, didn’t you?

Note: While you all are receiving this as a mass email it is also a post at the site “Stop Mobbing, Bullying and Harassment.” Moreover, hard copies of these posts have been sent to home addresses or PO Boxes of all parties copied. As Warren Bennis points out in “Transparency” it’s nearly impossible to suppress information now. And, bullies and large companies aren’t fairing so well in the media recently. The full copy list is attached.

 

Hey peeps, this is a letter of apology.

Dedicated To: Hendric, Morgan and Ashleig

Hey peeps, this is a letter of apology. You were owed a world in which you all can live your lives safely and in peace. Less than fifty percent of you will inherit that. The horrifying truth for those of you who are female is that one in five of you will experience sexual assault or attempted sexual assault in college. You will find a legal system that will not provide you with justice. You are likely to find that your university is more concerned about protecting its reputation than your human rights. They might even try to silence you about the tragedy. Almost all of you will be the target of gender based disrespect or love someone who is. I am extremely sorry that we let you down.

This sounds like a digression but it isn’t. I was in high school during the nineties. Before the nineties gay and lesbian rights were virtually unheard of. Open disrespect of gays and lesbians was completely socially acceptable. Prior to the nineties it was dangerous for people to be openly gay because they might become the target of violent hate crimes and they had little to no legal recourse. They lived in fear. I know that it’s hard to imagine now, but it’s true.

There was a lot of activism for gay and lesbian rights during the nineties. Probably the most important part of that was the One in Ten Movement. I was a part of that one. There were three things that I loved about it. A friend of mine is a lesbian so I was helping someone who I love. Also, I was creating important social change. This is the mind blowing one. What you had to do to be a part of the One in Ten Movement was *almost nothing!*

So, I’m creating a model that doesn’t cut into your time for enjoying life because we want to keep our priorities straight! All that you had to do to be a part of that movement was learn to recognize homophobia and correct it when you saw it. And, back then it was so common and intrinsic to the culture that our gay and lesbian friends had to coach us on it and explain it to us. However, it’s now 2010 so I’m just including video clips. When we heard homophobic comments we had to say something like, “I have a lesbian friend and I really don’t appreciate that.” Obviously, around ten percent of you will need to be a little more motivated than that. But, I want to make this as simple and easy for most of you as it was for me.

Thoreau writes that, “Wisdom is not gained but lost with age.” It’s similar to Jay-Z’s, “Forever Young.” Warren Bennis, the world’s authority on leadership, observes that leaders see what, “could be” rather than what is. There is another group who is capable, willing to, and excited about seeing what could be. It’s you! It’s one of the wisdoms that Thoreau refers to. I hope that you all will keep it for the rest of your lives. And I hope that you will use that wisdom today. Obviously, some of you will need to do a little extra work, but for about ninety percent of you creating real social change is as simple as watching a few short video clips and making a few simple decisions.

A world in which one is physically safe and treated with respect is a birthright.

Go claim your birthright!

To The Perpetrator: Every voice matters including mine! (language warning)

WASHINGTON (March 26, 2010) A poster supportin...

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Every voice matters including mine, mother fucker!

You and the entire management team counted on my silence. As little as a decade ago a woman’s only option was the mainstream media.

Guess what, modern technology makes it exposing the truth simple!

I may well go to the main stream media also. But, I’m taking this excellent opportunity to illustrate the point.

The primary reason that women remain silent about harassment and assault is fear or retaliation. Frequently we fear the company or educational institution as badly as the perpetrator, and for excellent reason. In “Transparency” Warren Bennis observes that the ease of publishing that the blog sphere provides makes a lot of the ways that companies traditionally retaliated ineffective.

Moreover, I have a little fucking news flash for you. What the public wants is to see the silence around sexual assault, sexual harassment and domestic abuse broken. And, most people don’t like people like you, at all!

It’s worthy of note that this is tagged comedy and creative non-fiction. My best guess is that the average world citizen will find it amusing.

Some might even respect me for it!

Quick note to readers: “Workplace Issues” is a work of creative nonfiction based on my true story of being bullied. It’s told in a series of open letters.