Chris Brown’s reputation seems ruined!

Well, on Power 100.1, the Athens top 40 station the DJ just mentioned Chris Brown tweeting about completing his court ordered domestic violence course. The DJ’s voice was contemptuous toward Chris Brown. I don’t think that this DJ is the voice of decent, at all.

Is it possible that we are at a tipping point of being past victim blaming?

 

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Let’s end the silence to end the violence!

With sexual harassment, sexual assault and bullying in schools and workplaces silence is the norm. With gender based and sexual orientation based hate crimes silence is the norm. Silence cannot create social change, ever. The norm is completely unacceptable.

As Warren Bennis, one of the world’s authorities on leadership, observes in his work “Transparency” it is nearly impossible to suppress information now. These usually are not actually instances of he said and she said, he said and he said or she said she said but instances of all of the parties who do have reasonable knowledge being complicit and unwilling to speak.

Unfortunately our social norm is to turn a blind eye and consider the abuse to simply not be our problem. This happens with bullying in schools, on college campuses and at workplaces. It happens with violence against women be it harassment, assault or domestic violence. It happens when individuals are targeted based on race religion and sexual orientation also. As long as it is socially acceptable and considered normal behavior to observe abuse complicity and par-take in victim blaming tragedies such as the recent series of suicides* will be common place.

There have been more suicides that we don’t know about than we do.

Included in this site is a model that most victims of severe harassment or bullying could duplicate effectively. It holds the perpetrator accountable for their behavior. It holds the institution responsible for neglect. It’s effective at correcting unjust damage to a victim’s reputation by exposing the truth and putting a stop to victim blaming.

This is a real situation and I personally was assaulted. The company acted with gross neglect and flagrant disregard for law. Unfortunately, this is still common with gender based hate crimes and bullying.  It happens in work places and universities.  Companies, intuitions and perpetrators count on the victim’s silence. Let’s speak!

Until very recently most people were unaware of the high coloration between bullying and suicide. This doesn’t just happen in schools and on campuses. It also happens in work places. We know that there are adult suicides for the same reason. Work place abuse can cause post traumatic stress disorder and suicidal urges are a common symptom of PTSD. Unhealthy and unsafe places of education and work are unacceptable.

Unfortunately, it isn’t possible to end all abuse. It’s absolutely possible to have a zero tolerance policy toward abusive behavior of any nature in any one environment. We know this because it’s been done successfully by many companies and universities.

Moreover, these are public health risks that many people are unaware of. Confident and assertive individuals are at a higher risk for work place abuse than others. Frequently, bullies and predatory individuals are motivated by jealousy. One of my goals is to prevent this from happening to others. Please take a moment to review the section categorized, “Early Warning Signs” and forward it to your friends and family.

In preventing hate crimes, violence against women and suicides due to bullying every voice matters, including yours! One person cannot break this silence or create change but as a team we can. Please take twenty minutes to join our team.

We don’t need your money or your time, we need your voice!

Hey peeps, this is a letter of apology.

Dedicated To: Hendric, Morgan and Ashleig

Hey peeps, this is a letter of apology. You were owed a world in which you all can live your lives safely and in peace. Less than fifty percent of you will inherit that. The horrifying truth for those of you who are female is that one in five of you will experience sexual assault or attempted sexual assault in college. You will find a legal system that will not provide you with justice. You are likely to find that your university is more concerned about protecting its reputation than your human rights. They might even try to silence you about the tragedy. Almost all of you will be the target of gender based disrespect or love someone who is. I am extremely sorry that we let you down.

This sounds like a digression but it isn’t. I was in high school during the nineties. Before the nineties gay and lesbian rights were virtually unheard of. Open disrespect of gays and lesbians was completely socially acceptable. Prior to the nineties it was dangerous for people to be openly gay because they might become the target of violent hate crimes and they had little to no legal recourse. They lived in fear. I know that it’s hard to imagine now, but it’s true.

There was a lot of activism for gay and lesbian rights during the nineties. Probably the most important part of that was the One in Ten Movement. I was a part of that one. There were three things that I loved about it. A friend of mine is a lesbian so I was helping someone who I love. Also, I was creating important social change. This is the mind blowing one. What you had to do to be a part of the One in Ten Movement was *almost nothing!*

So, I’m creating a model that doesn’t cut into your time for enjoying life because we want to keep our priorities straight! All that you had to do to be a part of that movement was learn to recognize homophobia and correct it when you saw it. And, back then it was so common and intrinsic to the culture that our gay and lesbian friends had to coach us on it and explain it to us. However, it’s now 2010 so I’m just including video clips. When we heard homophobic comments we had to say something like, “I have a lesbian friend and I really don’t appreciate that.” Obviously, around ten percent of you will need to be a little more motivated than that. But, I want to make this as simple and easy for most of you as it was for me.

Thoreau writes that, “Wisdom is not gained but lost with age.” It’s similar to Jay-Z’s, “Forever Young.” Warren Bennis, the world’s authority on leadership, observes that leaders see what, “could be” rather than what is. There is another group who is capable, willing to, and excited about seeing what could be. It’s you! It’s one of the wisdoms that Thoreau refers to. I hope that you all will keep it for the rest of your lives. And I hope that you will use that wisdom today. Obviously, some of you will need to do a little extra work, but for about ninety percent of you creating real social change is as simple as watching a few short video clips and making a few simple decisions.

A world in which one is physically safe and treated with respect is a birthright.

Go claim your birthright!

Why should I talk about abuse?

Yea, neither do I. But, as long as sexual assault, sexual harassment and domestic violence are shrouded in silence they will continue to be common place. We have to talk about them in order to make them stop! The exact same principle applies for bullying in schools, on college campuses and workplaces!

Besides, we are doing it in such a way that we are demanding social change.

That aspect of it can be a lot of fun!

This isn’t my problem.

Domestic violence against woman.

Image via Wikipedia

One in five women is sexually assaulted during her academic career. One in six is assaulted in America and approximately one in three in the world community. One in three women in America will be the target of domestic abuse, and, approximately one in three the target of harassment. These are human rights violations and public health issues. This is *everyone’s* problem!

The good news is, *everyone* can be part of the solution.

What is a gender based hate crime?

"North Hampton is a Domestic violence fre...

Image via Wikipedia

Crimes based on minority status are hate crimes. Not every instance of domestic violence or sexual assault is a hate crime.

Men can be assaulted and can be victims of domestic violence.

But, in America one in six women experience rape or attempted rape and only one in thirty-three men are assaulted. Eighty-five percent of victims of domestic violence are female. Naturally statistics throughout the world vary. These aren’t simply women’s issues. They are human rights violations and public health issues.

I want to make this crystal clear. The feelings and experience of a man who has been assaulted or abused by a partner are absolutely as valid as a woman’s. But, when numbers are this disproportionate it’s reasonable to conclude that the majority of these crimes are based on gender and are hate crimes.

Unfortunately, it’s still common for us to blame the female survivors of sexual assault and domestic abuse. Many states still consider physical violence that could endanger ones partner’s life a misdemeanor. Despite the fact that forty percent of all rapes and assaults are reported only six percent of rapists ever spend a day in jail. And they usually reoffend. Clearly, our society and legal system isn’t taking these matters seriously. While statistics vary throughout the world community these challenges are common.

There is no distinction between women’s rights and human rights. It’s unacceptable for any and all societies within the world community, including America, to allow human rights violations and ignore hate crimes. It’s immoral for any of us to consider it the victims fault for becoming the target of a hate crime.

As long as sexual assault and domestic abuse are shrouded in silence they will continue. Please take twenty minutes and join our team. We don’t need your money or your time. We need your voice.

In breaking this silence and preventing these hate crimes every voice matters, including yours.