To: The Team Members Involved ~ Exactly what is the difference between you and the girls that bullied Phobe Prince to death, except age?

South Hadley, Massachusetts "green",...

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There is absolutely no excuse for abusive behavior, at all. Even if I was a petty thief and the perpetrators analysis of my character was accurate it just isn’t an excuse for abusive behavior, period. And, it would stand to reason that he had a motive to damage my reputation. You all actually trusted his analysis of my character blindly. Most people would be simply shocked by that. Personally, I’m not because I understand how a mob mentality works. It’s inherently irrational and unethical.

Is it rational to trust the perpetrator of any nature of severe abuse about the character and actions of their target or victim? Just in case you all want to suffer from a convenient case of confusion the answer is no.

The perpetrators attacks on my character were a combination of fabrications and his projections. Severely abusive individuals almost always project their own emotional problems onto their target or victim. It’s intuitive that someone capable of that level of abuse has serious emotional problems and is lacking in integrity.

In cases of mobbing, or bullying by a group, accusations of theft and drug addiction are common. I was accused of attempted theft. The first former journalist who I discussed this with used the phrase, “Obviously trumped up.”

I’ll explain exactly what’s wrong with this. First of all, the bully clearly has a motive. Second of all, the mob mentality had already set in so the witness does also. Third of all my friend was typing on a computer rather than packing it up. A quick search history would have revealed that she had visited Match dot com. She switched from an office computer to a lap top because Match was blocked on the office computers. I can understand someone taking issue with this but calling it criminal is ridiculous.

In order for an accusation of attempted theft to have any credibility at all someone has to be accused of trying to steal something. Exactly what was I accused of trying to steal?

I understand that during my brief and unfortunate affiliation with that firm you all gossiped about the fact that there was, “something weird” about the fact that my meetings with the perpetrator were, “so frequent.”

Since you all considered me to be attractive and considered him to be having a mid life crisis the implication was sexual harassment, period. It was impossible to miss the fact that I was in a state of duress and impossible to miss the cause. I was even breaking into cold sweats whenever the perpetrator came near me. Instead of trying to help you all gossiped, laughed and par took in the abuse, including but not limited to accusing me of having bad hygiene.

The reason that our meetings were so frequent is that the perpetrator was refusing my respectful resignation by intimidating my physically and referencing me personal and specifically sexual history. This was wrongful termination as well as sexual harassment. Needless to say, I don’t want the position back!

Severe workplace abuse be it harassment, bullying or a combination there of almost always causes post traumatic stress disorder. It can cause heart conditions as well. PTSD always creates some risk of suicide. Candidly, I did almost kill myself at one point.

Every last one of you who was affiliated with the firm at that point in time knew about the bullying and harassment. All of you knew that I had suffered a breakdown because of it.

It was intuitive that it was a breakdown due to abuse rather than a psychotic breakdown. You all knew the truth. And exactly what did you do about it?

You all ran around gossiping, laughing about it and calling me names like the mean girls at South Hadley High, didn’t you?

Note: While you all are receiving this as a mass email it is also a post at the site “Stop Mobbing, Bullying and Harassment.” Moreover, hard copies of these posts have been sent to home addresses or PO Boxes of all parties copied. As Warren Bennis points out in “Transparency” it’s nearly impossible to suppress information now. And, bullies and large companies aren’t fairing so well in the media recently. The full copy list is attached.

 

To: My Former Employer ~ I’ll address this as well! (language warning)

Quick preface: “Workplace Issues” is a work of creative nonfiction based on my true story of being bullied and harassed. It’s told in a series of open letters.

Hey the piece of shit, or bully if one prefers, insinuated that you abused me as well.

Obviously, I never said that!

To: My Former Employer ~ Don’t worry, this is only nearly impossible! :-D

Quick preface: “Workplace Issues” is a work of creative nonfiction based on my true story of being bullied and harassed. It’s told in a series of open letters.

You once made the observation that if you could somehow get any, “impossible client” in front of me then they would be my, “loyal client for life.”

The same thing kind of pertained to seemingly impossible situations. If it seemed impossible then it would land on my desk or be delegated to me. And that was fine. I always enjoyed the challenge. It was one of my favorite parts of the job actually.

So, what happened hit the point of fifth stage mobbing as defined by Heinz Leymann. There currently isn’t, or wasn’t, an effective solution for getting damage to the victims reputation and the abusive behavior within a professional community under control.

This has a lot to do with the fact that if mobbing hits that point then the target is probably suffering from PTSD. Since there is no effective way to remove ones self from the situation it typical causes a traumatic stress breakdown. A traumatic stress breakdown is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation and not an indication of serious mental illness. But, it looks a lot like serious mental illness and is nearly as debilitating if untreated.

In a nut shell, it’s fairly easy to get away with branding someone as insane while they are effectively insane. And, this phenomenon is quite well researched. Extremely abusive individuals, or bullies, want to cause their target a breakdown. They actually derive satisfaction from hurting others. It’s a power trip for them, like with sex offenders.

I’ll be extremely specific about what he was doing. His body language, tone of voice and language were so threatening and intimidating that if a man were interacting with another man that way one would reasonably think that matters were about to hit the point of physical violence. He was also making repeated references to my personal and specifically sexual history. I don’t know what he is or isn’t capable of but he intended to terrify me. It wasn’t an accident, it was completely intentional.

Anyway, there currently isn’t an effective solution for getting fifth stage mobbing under control. But, I’m of the opinion that it’s only nearly impossible.

Wish me luck! 😀

To: My Former Employer ~ I hope that you know that this is true!

Quick preface: “Workplace Issues” is a work of creative nonfiction based on my true story of being bullied and harassed. It’s told in a series of open letters.

How’s it going? Alright, in my interview with the perpetrator he asked me about the firm. I said that I, “loved it” and “loved the team.”

Anything else that I said was within that context. Bullies and predatory individuals love taking matters out of context. It’s one of their favorite tricks. So, I’m setting the record straight in case there is any confusion.

I hope that you are well!


To: My Former Employer ~ I never thanked you for this!

Quick preface: “Workplace Issues” is a work of creative nonfiction based on my true story of being bullied and harassed. It’s told in a series of open letters.

When you initially purchased the firm you were completely unaware that the founder had been teaching me management. In fact you specified that I seemed to need an unusual amount of help with my work. You explained that you wouldn’t necessarily keep me on if I continued to need so much help. ROLF!

Anyway, shortly there after the founder explained that he had taught me management. You and I studied English. He studied Business. For whatever reason he taught us traditional theory without having us read the theory. At any rate, at one point you told me that the original founder of the firm, “told” you “that he had taught” me “to manage myself and told” you “why.”

You told me that it was fine for me to stay at the firm and continue training agents. The theorist on that is Drucker, by the way. There is something that I almost explained to you at the time but didn’t. I didn’t know why I managed myself.

I’ll explain exactly how this happened. As you know the original founder of the firm and I had a mentor-protégée relationship. You probably recall the fact that he very much loved to pick on me.

Early on in my training he made a joke. It was, “Manage yourself for long enough, manage my office for free, train yourself to be the best rental agent in” the city “and someday little Cobra I’ll teach you big important things.”

I didn’t get the joke. When I didn’t get the joke he thought that it was hysterical and put a lot of energy into keeping the joke going.

In fact, about a year after you purchased the firm I explained to him that I had been successful at completing my tasks and that we should probably move on to important things. He laughed and said, “Do it longer.”

About a year later I said, “I have realized that you will never teach me anything but that’s okay I still like you anyway.”

In the following year he realized that the Bully-Perpetrator entity had lied to me during the interview process with the specific intent of manipulating me out of reinforcing my skill set at management. He was extremely distraught.

The he said, “Think hard, why do you manage yourself!?!”

I still didn’t get the joke. Actually, it was during my traumatic stress breakdown that the punch line dawned on me. I swear to God this could have only happened to me!

Anyway, I didn’t know that you were always operating with the assumption that I would start my own firm. I knew that I was operating with the assumption that it was a possibility. But I didn’t know that you knew that.

In retrospect I realize that it’s why you never gave me a formal position as manager. And, while I resented it at the time, you were right.

So, I wanted to say thank you.

 


To my Mentor: And on that note!

Quick preface: “Workplace Issues” is a work of creative nonfiction based on my true story of being bullied. It’s told in a series of open letters.

It’s ironic, when you first learned that the perpetrator had lied to me you said, “This guy is good!”

Typically I catch things like that. My intuition kicked in quickly and I wasn’t excited about accepting the position. When I wasn’t excited about accepting the position he accused me of being, “scary good” at what I do.

That’s the pattern. He projected all of his serious character flaws and deep emotional problems on me. And, he believes himself!

To my Mentor: You see in others what is true of yourself! (language warning)

Quick preface: “Workplace Issues” is a work of creative nonfiction based on my true story of being bullied. It’s told in a series of open letters.

The perpetrator saw someone who was, “manipulative…gross, full of shit” and, “immature.”

He also saw someone who was, “Willing to say or do anything to anyone to and hurt them to get what (I) want.”

You saw someone who is, “special and can create.”

You see in others what is true of yourself!

To my Mentor: Seven Years Ago Today, Merry Christmas!

Quick preface: “Workplace Issues” is a work of creative nonfiction based on my true story of being bullied. It’s told in a series of open letters.

Seven years ago today I missed my plan to visit my family for the Holidays. That was okay because I had several Jewish friends and a Bahia one. It was a great Christmas. We had Chinese food and went dancing at a Goth club. My friend referenced it on Face Book today, but I digress. You had a Christmas party that year. I showed up as the last guest left. That was the year after you sold your firm.

Now, when you sold that firm I knew that it was a mistake. I tried to talk you out of it. But, you are as stubborn as I am! It was literally impossible. While you were teaching me management you used to say about me, “I’m doing something different with The Cobra.”

Cobra was your nickname for me. You would continue, “It’s because The Cora is special like me. The Cobra can create like me.”

That evening I asked you how much money you had made in the preceding year because I knew that you would be proud of your income. You told me and you were. You had doubled or quadrupled it.

Then I asked you if you were happy because I knew that you weren’t. You said, “It’s not the same. I’m not creating anymore.”

Won’t you please consider practicing again?

Merry Christmas,

The Cobra Snake

To my Mentor: The Troops are Getting Fired Up!

Be Excited

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Quick preface: “Workplace Issues” is a work of creative nonfiction based on my true story of being bullied. It’s told in a series of open letters.

I was chatting with someone who is enthusiastic about my plan earlier today. Obviously, I can’t say who but she is a reputable member of the community. She said something along the lines of, “get those” people!

Naturally, I’m paraphrasing.

I’m excited about my project.

I suppose that a normal person would be afraid.

But, I’m excited!

To the Perpetrator: Regarding your accusation of “bad hygiene.”

Quick preface: “Workplace Issues” is a work of creative nonfiction based on my true story of being bullied. It’s told in a series of open letters.

On the night that you let me go you accused me of having, “bad hygiene.”

I was breaking into cold sweats because I was having a traumatic stress breakdown caused by you.

It is so disturbing that this could happen at a company founded by a woman and with a team that is predominantly female.