Attention GLBT Businesses! (via Queer Dallas)

Attention GLBT Businesses! In this economy owning a business is not easy, but we can all help each other succeed in these trying times. If you need with networking, you might want to look into North Texas GLBT Chamber. They have some great events to help with expanding your business contacts. Here's a little snipped from their about me page. The North Texas Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender Chamber of Commerce is a private, not-for-profit, membership driven organization con … Read More

via Queer Dallas

BREAKING: Wisconsin Police Have Joined Protest Inside State Capitol (via Red Ant Liberation Army News)

BREAKING: Wisconsin Police Have Joined Protest Inside State Capitol by Jenn Breckenridge February 25, 2011 From inside the Wisconsin State Capitol, RAN ally Ryan Harvey reports: “Hundreds of cops have just marched into the Wisconsin state capitol building to protest the anti-Union bill, to massive applause. They now join up to 600 people who are inside.” Ryan reported on his Facebook page earlier today: “Police have just announced to the crowds inside the occupied State Capitol of Wisconsin: ‘We have been ordered … Read More

via Red Ant Liberation Army News

Welcome and About

the picture consist of articles on bullying, I...

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Dear Reader,

If you are here because you are being bullied then I’m sorry for what you are going through. The experience can be traumatic for adults like it frequently is for children. Please know that you are not alone and there is hope. This isn’t your fault, at all.

Bullying has gotten a lot of attention in the main stream media recently. Primarily, the attention has been on bullying in schools and on college campuses. But, our rates of bullying in workplaces are comparable to the statistics of bullying in schools and universities. The reason that we have this pandemic problem with bullying in schools and on campuses is because we are a society of adults who ignore and partake in bullying and victim blaming. The problem isn’t the children.

The most common motive for sexual harassment is professional jealousy. It’s one of the most common motives for workplace abuse, or bullying, also. When I had just turned thirty a manager became threatened by me professionally.. What he did to me was a combination of bullying and harassment.

This happened to me at an extremely reputable firm in one of the most progressive cities in the world. Everyone on the management team had reasonable knowledge of the abuse. It isn’t my opinion that it’s a company’s responsibility to handle sexual harassment if they have reasonable knowledge of it, its law.

Instead of adhering to law they actively damaged my reputation. Unfortunately, it is common for the target or victims reputation to be more badly damaged than the perpetrators.

Mobbing is bullying by a group. Often, one bully starts the abuse but many others partake. It’s common for bullying by a group and victim blaming to be interwoven.

While this was happening to me it was apparent that every party involved counted on my silence. Then I was surprised by that. When I learned that settlements are typically contingent on the victim or survivors silence it made more sense. When I learned that if a target of harassment or bullying tells the truth about what happened then they open themselves to a liable or slander suit it made even more sense.

It’s impossible that the mainstream media could cover all instances of harassment or workplace bullyingbecause there are so many of them. Most people don’t want to wait five years for a court date. As long as survivors and victims remain silent these types of abuse will continue to be common place. According to the Harvard Business Review blog we can’t get workplace abuse under control without creating accountability for the bullies. This model is effective at creating accountability without exposing me legally.

Frequently individuals remain silent out of fear of retaliation by a large company and fear of damaging future employment opportunities. This model would be as effective under a pseudonym as it is under a real name. Unless the main stream media is involved then PR is unlikely to get involved.

My goal here is creating a model that the average individual can use in order to have a voice. It’s effective at holding workplace bullies accountable for their abusive behavior. It’s effective at holding the company responsible for neglect. It’s effective at stopping mobbing, or bullying by a group, and victim blaming. It’s effective at correcting unjust damage to a victim’s reputation. This model makes it safer for individuals to speak!

With workplace bullying and sexual harassment silence is the norm.

As long as silence is the norm these types of abuse will continue to remain common place.

Let’s speak!

Best regards,

Alise Kobre

 

To: The Team Members Who Partook If you want to continue, you may. But it’s a poor reflection on you.

Sexual harassment

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Clearly, you all are the aggressors. I was just trying to live my life in peace. Clearly, you all aligned yourselves with a bully and laughed while another woman was having a traumatic stress breakdown due to sexual harassment. This isn’t behavior to be proud of.

Typically I ignore gossip. But, when it’s so hateful and damaging that it affects ones professional reputation it becomes slander. I had to address that and it was ethical for me to do so.

You may not use your own hateful statements, erroneous assumptions and half truths as an excuse for treating me in an abusive fashion in the future, period. There is no excuse for abusive behavior.

The person next to me is also doing it isn’t an acceptable excuse for abuse, either.

Now, if you want to continue with your immature gossip because you are that deeply insecure, you may.

But, it’s a poor reflection on your selves and not me!

Note: While you all are receiving this as a mass email it is also a post at the site “Stop Mobbing, Bullying and Harassment.” Moreover, hard copies of these posts have been sent to home addresses or PO Boxes of all parties copied. As Warren Bennis points out in “Transparency” it’s nearly impossible to suppress information now. And, bullies and large companies aren’t fairing so well in the media recently. The full copy list is attached.

 

To: The Team Members Involved ~ Exactly what is the difference between you and the girls that bullied Phobe Prince to death, except age?

South Hadley, Massachusetts "green",...

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There is absolutely no excuse for abusive behavior, at all. Even if I was a petty thief and the perpetrators analysis of my character was accurate it just isn’t an excuse for abusive behavior, period. And, it would stand to reason that he had a motive to damage my reputation. You all actually trusted his analysis of my character blindly. Most people would be simply shocked by that. Personally, I’m not because I understand how a mob mentality works. It’s inherently irrational and unethical.

Is it rational to trust the perpetrator of any nature of severe abuse about the character and actions of their target or victim? Just in case you all want to suffer from a convenient case of confusion the answer is no.

The perpetrators attacks on my character were a combination of fabrications and his projections. Severely abusive individuals almost always project their own emotional problems onto their target or victim. It’s intuitive that someone capable of that level of abuse has serious emotional problems and is lacking in integrity.

In cases of mobbing, or bullying by a group, accusations of theft and drug addiction are common. I was accused of attempted theft. The first former journalist who I discussed this with used the phrase, “Obviously trumped up.”

I’ll explain exactly what’s wrong with this. First of all, the bully clearly has a motive. Second of all, the mob mentality had already set in so the witness does also. Third of all my friend was typing on a computer rather than packing it up. A quick search history would have revealed that she had visited Match dot com. She switched from an office computer to a lap top because Match was blocked on the office computers. I can understand someone taking issue with this but calling it criminal is ridiculous.

In order for an accusation of attempted theft to have any credibility at all someone has to be accused of trying to steal something. Exactly what was I accused of trying to steal?

I understand that during my brief and unfortunate affiliation with that firm you all gossiped about the fact that there was, “something weird” about the fact that my meetings with the perpetrator were, “so frequent.”

Since you all considered me to be attractive and considered him to be having a mid life crisis the implication was sexual harassment, period. It was impossible to miss the fact that I was in a state of duress and impossible to miss the cause. I was even breaking into cold sweats whenever the perpetrator came near me. Instead of trying to help you all gossiped, laughed and par took in the abuse, including but not limited to accusing me of having bad hygiene.

The reason that our meetings were so frequent is that the perpetrator was refusing my respectful resignation by intimidating my physically and referencing me personal and specifically sexual history. This was wrongful termination as well as sexual harassment. Needless to say, I don’t want the position back!

Severe workplace abuse be it harassment, bullying or a combination there of almost always causes post traumatic stress disorder. It can cause heart conditions as well. PTSD always creates some risk of suicide. Candidly, I did almost kill myself at one point.

Every last one of you who was affiliated with the firm at that point in time knew about the bullying and harassment. All of you knew that I had suffered a breakdown because of it.

It was intuitive that it was a breakdown due to abuse rather than a psychotic breakdown. You all knew the truth. And exactly what did you do about it?

You all ran around gossiping, laughing about it and calling me names like the mean girls at South Hadley High, didn’t you?

Note: While you all are receiving this as a mass email it is also a post at the site “Stop Mobbing, Bullying and Harassment.” Moreover, hard copies of these posts have been sent to home addresses or PO Boxes of all parties copied. As Warren Bennis points out in “Transparency” it’s nearly impossible to suppress information now. And, bullies and large companies aren’t fairing so well in the media recently. The full copy list is attached.

 

To: The Team at the Firm Where I Was Bullied, Harassed and Assaulted

Elle Woods, pictured on the poster for the fil...

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Quick Preface: This is one way to stop work place bullying and harassment. Bullying has gotten a lot of attention in the main stream media lately. Technically speaking the word for bullying by a group is mobbing. Regardless of what it’s called, it’s immoral and insidious. It can be traumatic and cause suicide. The first three paragraphs go into my personal situation. The last five paragraphs would be effective at stopping most instances of workplace bullying and harassment. Paragraphs four and five address bullying. Paragraphs six and seven are about harassment. The last paragraph pertains to either or both. When I execute on this project I’ll e-mail the entire professional community. Not just the team, but the entire professional community. It should be effective at stopping bullying by a group, or mobbing, and victim blaming.

To: The Team at the Firm Where I Was Bullied, Harassed and Assaulted

We are about to have a Legally Blonde moment and then a lesson in ethics. The perpetrator did not hire me because I am attractive, he hired me because I am competent. He abused me because he felt threatened by me professionally and that is the most common motive for harassment and one of the three most common motives for workplace abuse, or bullying. Your assumption was extremely chauvinistic. Moreover, if that had been the case then I still would have been the victim and the behavior of the team was socially irresponsible.

I hope that you all enjoyed running around and explaining how the perpetrator’s employment had been terminated due to his “having a mid-life crisis,” “bad emotional problems” and, “making bad judgments” including but not limited to having hired an agent who was, “possibly insane” because she was “attractive”, meaning me. Watch how quickly this can be turned around on you. This might end up in the mainstream media and I’m attractive.

Also, I’m speaking truth to power in one of the most progressive and educated cities in the world. There is a copious amount of evidence to support the fact that I am telling the truth, including your own statements. You can either acknowledge the situation or retaliate. Heads I win, tails I win. I hope that you will all think long and hard about being cruel to someone whom you perceive as powerless in the future. It isn’t behavior to be proud of.

Moreover, it’s extremely apparent that we have a serious challenge with bullying in schools and on college campuses. This affects the LGBTQ community disproportionately, but severe abuse of any nature can cause post traumatic stress disorder. That condition almost always creates some risk of suicide. Not everyone recovers from it and it can be permanently debilitating. It can prevent someone from living a healthy, happy life and thriving. It mitigates one’s capacity to love.

I’ll explain exactly why we have this pandemic problem with bullying in schools and colleges. It’s because we are a society of adults who ignore and partake in bullying and victim blaming.

One in three women in America is harassed. The effects of harassment range from mild humiliation to post traumatic stress disorder. One in five female undergraduates is the victim or survivor of sexual assault or attempted sexual assault. This is true at Ivy’s and local junior colleges. The way that the majority of you behaved made it easier for the perpetrator to get away with abusing me and an even more painful and humiliating experience.

Most of you have daughters and nieces. It isn’t a question of if something like this will happen to some of them it is a question of when. The decisions that you make within your lifetime define the world that you leave to your children.

I hope that you all will conduct yourselves in an ethical and mature manner from this point forward.

 

Update from Cairo: March of a Million (via communicating.across.boundaries)

1:30am Cambridge time – 8:30am Cairo time: Annie update "Whole families, tons of woman, little kids (really cute!) and not an ounce of anti-American sentiment" were the words my daughter used to describe Tahrir Square.  She went on to say it was the old and young, middle class and wealthy, Copts and Muslims all with a tangible hope of change. She was there for 3 or 4 hours and her excitement was palpable. Tahrir Square – normally an intersection … Read More

via communicating.across.boundaries